I have always been a woman who prides herself in being bold, in saying the hard things and taking the road less traveled. Roughly two years ago, God called me to do exactly that by starting a blog. My charge was to help women discover what being a strong, bold and gentle Daughter of God is. To show His undying love and to boldly proclaim His gospel. I remember setting up my WordPress site and being so psyched to get started. I started my blog, with very little success, and instantly became discouraged. I felt so very inadequate and embarrassed, part of me still does.
I was awful at posting regularly, I didn’t have very developed content, I was new to the blogging world and, on top of it all, I was terrible with punctuation and spelling. Terrible. I would have such a great message to deliver, words and thoughts God had placed strongly on my heart to share, but I’d get tripped up by the details of it all. I felt as though I had a writers stutter. With every post I was fearful that my errors would detract from God’s bigger message. To top it all off, two years later, all of these things still ring true. So, I simply stopped writing as much; I stopped caring.
I was inspired to my very core by the charge God has placed on my heart but I was too discouraged and frustrated for it to matter. I would dabble in blogging, posting a few random posts here and there, after suddenly finding my inspiration again. Then, just as fast as I found inspiration to start I would lose it. I was too embarrassed to even talk about my blog. Instead, I just wallowed in my failure and felt as though I had let God down in a very big way.
Then, I read some uplifting words from a memoir about the band U2 called Walk On the Spiritual Journey of U2. The author, Steve Stockman, writes that in his first few albums Bono admits that hadn’t really developed the art of songwriting. Stockman goes on to say that “…in U2’s early albums he was able to reach deep within himself and find lyrics that expressed what his peers were experiencing. It was the honesty more than his literary ability that made Boy (U2’s first album) so endearing.”
These words are such an inspiration to me. They bring me hope and give me courage. They remind me that God is so much bigger than my sentence structure and misspellings. God has given me the message and it is my job as His daughter to share it, however nervous I may be. I need to be proud of my calling, to find my confidence in Christ alone and allow Him to pave the way.
The sad truth is that all too often the paragraph above is the end of the message. We learn something, we see the error, find the hope only God can give and then we stop. As if everything is fixed. It’s not. Knowing there is a problem, even seeing the hope and blessings that come from the problem, is not enough. Although I have full faith that God will make His message heard through the words He has given me, the book of James tells us that faith without deeds is dead. I need to follow through. There must be action. I need to cling to Christ, practice writing, ask for help, humble myself and be willing to learn.
This learning process takes a courage unlike any other. To admit that you are broken, and ask for healing and help is a difficult job. Especially when you are embarrassed or ashamed. In the same way I trust God to shine His message through my brokenness, I also trust in God to help heal my brokenness and abolish my fears.
“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
While I don’t think that my simple literary errors are quite extreme enough to be considered “brokenhearted”, I also understand that fear is not quiet. It does not stand idly by, it quickly grows and becomes overwhelming. Because my darling, fear is a liar. It grips your core and shakes your faith, killing your passions and dreams. Yes, for now this fear of mine seems small, but any fear that gets in the way sharing God’s love is a fear worthy of battling fiercely.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
What are the fears holding you back from sharing your story? Face those fears head on and submit your story to The Rubies Project. I believe God created your story with such intention. And, my darling, God does not create worthlessness!
Sharing the stories of ordinary women to make and extraordinary impact for Christ.